Head full of head full of head full of...

So many ideas and so little I-don't-know-what. This is my problem. Lot of things running throught my head mostly without any material response.

An idea, a thought.
Okay - sounds good.
But... never mind.

Another idea, another thought.
Nice, I could do this.
But... hmm. No.

Another one. And another one. And so on.

This is how it feels often in my brain. Pixies were right asking "Where is my mind?".
It is depressive to discover that I have so many things on my mind but I am not able or capable to execute at least part of them. But all I can do is to carry on. Never give up. This will probably bother me until I die. But I can fight it and perhaps "the meaning of life" is involved in this topic somehow.

I need help. Something or better someone who would push me forward. One kick in the ass, one step forward. Wise saying from Romania. Motivation, activation, impulse. 
Sometimes, just a very small thing can turn me on to start to DO the thing. But it is usually tough fight against myself. I don't know. Maybe they are all just excuses. A need of some external force to activate me? No. It is just in my head. Nobody can see it.

Cut the crap, Dusan.

I am thinking about what I will do in Pekarna. I don't know exactly. I have some ideas. I have some expectations and imaginations. When I come in October, everything will be different. Reality will be much more different from what I imagine in my head. Anyway, I look forward. Give it to me. Everything. And I give all I can back to you.

Striking workshop - French people teach Slovak/Sloven people how to demonstrate. How to fight for your right! How to set cars on fire. Sous les pavés la plage. Paul? (I don't know the evs-guy yet but he has to have striking in his blood. He is French, for Christ sake!)

Interdisciplinary-workshop // fake events - photo?video?dance?acting?scenography?light?design?music?film_workshop for photographers, cameramen, dancers, actors, set designers, light designers, graphic designers, musicians, directors who will work/teach/learn hard to make an event look like it happened. But it did not. Or it did in a way.

External output: photo/video/audio/text reports.
About great fucking concert that you (for sure and unfortunately) missed. Because you didn't know about it happening.
About vernissage of an exhibition of  awesome painter who didn't even know he had been there.
Anything. Fake.
Internal output: experience, knowledge, gained skill for people who did it.
Screwing and messing with the past, reality, truth, events, memories, future.

You don't understand?! So what? Me neither. It won't happen anyway.

Or?