Anyway, more and more, I see deeper into the organism of it all. Human relations, ideas, discussions about the future, communication with lot of partners and "partners", never-ending fight for survival, fight for better life conditions and mainly fight for the ideas.
Maribor and Pekarna was destination number one for me. I am on hitchhiking trip. Basically it should be holiday for me. Actually it is more tiring than holidays usualy are. I've been thinking much for past few days. About my home-organization Stanica where I work as webmaster/photographer, about Pekarna where I will be a volunteer. And about the way of life I have and share with people I work with. People in the field of independant culture are strange, complicated characters. I would say most of us are still looking for ourselves. We keep trying, searching, experimenting. We are struggling to find what we are meant to do. Nobody tells us. We want to have freedom, we want to express ourselves. And most of all, we want to change the world. But just a few people around us understand why we do what we do. Maybe that's why it is so hard. Because there are just a few of us. And we need to gather, to cooperate, to network. But many conflicts and misunderstandings raise based on diversity of our ideas, personal philosophies and believes. So we split up and get weaker again.
This is what I see, apart from other things. I am thinking about myself in here, as well. What do I do? What am I good at? And what can I learn to do? Sometimes, I feel lot of energy and confidence in myself. That I am able and capable to do anything I want. But other times, I am full of fear, lack of self-confidence and deprivation that I am just unable. This inner fight never stops.
But as my friend would say to me - we should be happy for this creative mess inside of us. We are digging out our hidden powers. Better than being just content and passive about the state of things.
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